You get to hear from me lots and lots! I've been jobless for just a week and a half, and that energy needs to go somewhere!
Something funny -- perhaps many of you remember our psycho neighbors that live below us. The ones that were obsessed with us being noisy and always telling us to be quiet. Funny funny updates about that, very ironic.
Remember how I said I didn't know what we'd do if we had a baby, because the wife would probably spaz and we'd drive her insane and maybe she'd get us kicked out of the building... well I think I misjudged that a little bit.
And this is still speculation, but the update is that THEY'VE HAD A BABY. Okay, this is definitely old news now though. Their baby is probably a year old now! And I don't ever remember seeing her pregnant, so maybe she didn't necessarily have a baby, but a family member that has a baby moved in with them, or they adopted, or they are taking care of a family member's baby, etc. They have family visit them on Shabbat (Friday night) and they make a lot of noise. Did I mention they are Jewish? I don't know, and I don't feel like asking them if they had a baby. According to Occam's Razor, the simplest explanation is that THEY'VE HAD A BABY!
Their baby sometimes wakes me up at 4am. Good times! Okay, seriously though, their baby cries so quietly, it's not very noisy at all, and not a big deal. I usually go right back to sleep. And Adam doesn't even wake up in the first place. It's a real blessing. I forget that they have a baby.
Sometimes they watch tv and I think that they've got some serious subwoofers because the bass coming from them is noisier than their baby crying. I wonder if the husband likes to play Call of Duty or watch a lot of war-type movies like Saving Private Ryan, because those are the kinds of loud bass noises that I hear emanating from their apartment, bombs going off and loud explosions! But it's usually just noisy on weekends. And I don't really care. Sometimes I want to go knock on their door and give them a taste of their own medicine, "Can you quiet it down down there? It's just too loud and my knick knacks on my fireplace mantle are shaking from the bass!" Okay, but I pride myself on not being *that* anal. Although I imagine it and giggle to myself if I were to actually do that sort of ridiculous thing.
Okay, I forgot to dish, but one reason the wife was mad the day we were moving in was because her knick knacks were shaking on her shelves below. Yes, she is NOT an eighty-year-old crazy cat person, although this would be the perfect description of one. She is probably my age, maybe younger. She told me that herself later that day, she complained a few times that day -- what a glorious welcome -- and told me about the knick knacks shaking. I thought about it later and almost died laughing. Anyway, again, not our fault. I'm sorry that the floors probably are carpet straight to crappy plywood, no padding, and all our vibrations of us going up the stairs and into our apartment shake your knick knacks, but we are walking normally, not stomping around. You have a problem with that, take it up with the HOUSING and STOP ANNOYING US and making us walk around on tiptoe, like we are tiptoeing around eggshells. This is ridiculous! I hope an earthquakes comes (they happen a lot in MO) and all your knick knacks fall off your shelves and get broken. Who would you complain to then?
So I wonder --- I wonder if the wife was pregnant during the time she was being a nutburger and complaining to us about everything under the sun. Maybe she was seriously hormonal, and close to delivery, and not able to sleep at night, or any little thing would wake her up, like our creaky floorboards, and she just couldn't resist but come complaining to us. Pregnancy hormones can make you pretty rabid and crazy, and so can sleep deprivation. I think they've only knocked twice in the last year or so, since they've had the baby and all, telling us to be quiet. Or maybe they just realize how darn hypocritical it would be now that THEY HAVE A CRYING BABY?
I was wondering how they'd deal when I had a baby, and it was crying, and it was the middle of the night. Because it would seriously be the biggest hypocrisy if they came knocking on our door telling us to quiet our baby down, and I would either A) laugh in their faces or B) slap them in their faces, preferably A) because I'd be less likely to be sued or go to prison.
And I might not ever find out how they would/will react when I DO HAVE A CRYING BABY, BECAUSE THEY ARE MOVING! HAHAHAHAHAHA! If'n that isn't the most ironic bit of info of all?! I'm dying over here! Again, we didn't hear it from them, we heard it from our fun neighbor Mark from across the hall. Also Jewish. And very outgoing.
Those are the developments to the story. Thanks for tuning in. We also had some other neighbors move in, maybe in the last six months, and can I tell you, they have the noisiest toddler in the whole wide world??? They live directly across from our quiet-obsessed neighbors. But the moms have become friends and I think that they have playdates. So it's all good.
More about the noisy family. The wife is very nice and friendly. I met them as they were looking at the apartment, and again as they were moving in. Her son is the biggest brat EVER! He throws a lot of tantrums, which we get to hear. And the part that bugs me is that the wife leaves the front door to the apartment wide open, and his crying and screaming boomingly ECHOES around our stairwell. And she leaves it open for the good 20 minutes that he has his tantrums. That part blows my mind. I would shut that door faster than anything out of embarrassment! It's really obvious that the noise is severely augmented in our stairwell. You can hear every single word of what people are saying as they go up the stairs, we've heard cell phone conversations from our BACK BEDROOM!
And for a crying screaming kid who is in another logarithmic range of Decibels, it doesn't make a lot of sense, and she seems like a considerate person. Anyway, I would just think that the resident noise experts (crochety neighbors) would take it up with her, but I don't know if they have. Maybe they've stopped caring now that they have a crying baby and they are tired walking zombies. Fortunately, screaming evil toddler usually just has tantrums during the day and sleeps at night, so his screaming doesn't wake me up either. :-) So again, not a big deal. But just a weird fact of life.
I do feel like I might have a noisy baby. The singing pipes are generally genetic, and I have a pretty stentorian loud voice. I could see my baby being a very noisy wailer, unlike the nice below neighbors' baby who is the quietest crier in the universe! So our neighbors might still be driven insane, but again, they are supposedly moving. So it's just funny how everything is going to work out for the best! It's hilarious!
The end. :-)
Unless they aren't moving after all. :-(
-Danelle
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