I think I know why I am hopeless at blogging...

... IT'S BECAUSE I'M TOO DARN BUSY READING/COMMENTING ALL OF YOUR GREAT POSTS!

And then I feel like I have nothing to offer. Or it's past midnight and I'm out of time.

I hope I am funny.

But sometimes I am funny when I am not trying to be funny. And I sometimes make people laugh the most when I am angry and saying something in my "My dog is dead" voice.

And it makes me MAD when they laugh when I'm trying to be serious. And passionate.

I don't know if it's because it's a really deadpan delivery. But it's weird, the only time I don't want laughs, and I get them.

Okay, let's get back in a humorous mood.

I had been having a rough go of things. Maybe this is how all my posts are sounding. Well sorry, that first kiddo really tests you (and they probably all do, just no one ever talks about it), like in the fiery furnace of affliction, or the crucible, or whatever you liken it to. So I was kind of a monster yesterday. Pent-up feelings from the last two months came spewing out of me like "truth-buckshot" (see Pushing Daisies) and I let the anger fly. And then I was humbled. I had more answers, which gave me some relief and explanation. And I saw my own flaws, and my own beam in my eye (you know, like a beam that holds up a roof or ceiling in a house, that span like 20 feet!), compared to a speck in another eye (you know, like so tiny that no one else notices but you?). And I had to eat some humble pie and try to restore the balance.

So that was sad, but also, now we can make some progress and try to do better and work on things. Also, I realized I needed to get out of my own rut and try to help what had been bringing me down. The sleep is still hit-and-miss, but I got some UV therapy to help with my winter blues (being cooped up from all these stinking ICE STORMS and freezing temps!) I think I had cabin fever on top of everything else. I really think things will improve in the spring and summer when I can get out and feel the sun, and get away from this rotten apartment with the squirrels in the ceiling and the creaking like we are on some kind of ship crossing the Atlantic! But I know I gotta be happy in the moment, or else you are always looking for moments in the future to be happy, and completely missing out on the great present right in front of your face.

Sheesh I am rambly. Here's what works for me, when you no longer have Christmas to look forward to and you are stuck in your house freezing to death.

- Go tan. Not just to get your tan on (bc I think that is stupid) but because you probably haven't had a good dose of UV since September. And it can help with SAD, seasonal depression. Because who isn't depressed when winter comes along, the sun is barely up, and you have been cooped up and probably driving everyone around you nuts.

- Go play a sport or do something active. Lately I have been getting my DDR on (Dance Dance Revolution) but then the PS2 memory card decided to delete all my data ... AGAIN! That was yesterday. That always kinda brings me down. I play almost every day, sometimes I get to play on harder levels while Adeline is in her exersaucer, but then she hasn't like to be in there, she wants me to hold her, so I hold her AND do an easy level. So I hadn't been exerting myself like I had a few weeks before. Oh well, we both have fun. But it wasn't cutting it. I played basketball with the ward ladies tonight and that REALLY helped. They really make you run and I feel worked out! And great! And my circulation has improved and I can feel my feet, they aren't ice blocks! And I sleep more soundly!

- Hang out with someone fun. I like hanging out with Natalie Lukens, she has a daughter close to Adeline's age and they play pretty well together, but I want to broaden my horizons and hang with other ladies I haven't seen too much lately. Like Careen and Amy, and anyone!

That's basically it. That really works for me. And try to not overextend yourself.

Now to clean this house and get some things in order. Tomorrow. Now I've got to go to bed. I've stayed up too late as it is. But I finally had the gumption to pay my bills, so I've been doing that at this late hour.

Night night!

-Danelle